It’s easy to distinguish people as capable and incapable based on how they handle situations. Being a person who is considered capable of overcome challenging situations has some perks, but for this virtue a grave shadow lingers. Just because someone is considered capable, does this meant they are required to carry more? For me it seems to be the case which breeds a vicious cycle of high expectations for some and less aggressive timelines for others.
Who gets to choose which category you are shuffled into? Without consent or question I have been labeled responsible and loaded with higher expectations. Especially as a mother of a child with a complex medical case. I despise the notion that mothers are expected to give up careers, dreams, and plans to support the growth and welfare of children. I want a full life full of dreams and opportunity. It should not be only my concern to make life work around my daughter’s needs. There are two parents for each child. Each parent is equally responsible. Never did I accept or confirm to this idea of sacrificing my life to be a mom.
I have done a good job overcoming every obstacle, thankfully, yet I still struggle with the overload expectation to do more. I hope moving forward as a society we think progressively about care and support for families with children who are not typical. I want to show more of the honest setbacks and barriers that disrupt daily life.
I think the more people speak about being overloaded with expectations that are unrealistic the work of dismantling the expectations can begin. Being a capable adult should not be burdensome, but a positive attribute.