This is ME

Some days it’s easy to believe in your own magic. Its feels as if you speak into existence everything from great hair, good food, to perfect timing, and no traffic all in the same day. Perfect. Magical. The other side of the coin holds the days that feel like quicksand of negativity. Catching all the red lights on your way to an appointment you’re already late for. Burning dinner, or forgetting to take the frozen chicken out. When there are no matching socks in my child’s sock drawer. My hair is a mess and I don’t match. You feel defeated before you arrive. Your vibe has fallen and it can’t get up. It’s easy to doubt your magic in these particular instances. Place on top of it all the pressure of motherhood, full time job, cleaning, and that last load of laundry, the 24 hours in the day spill through the day like quicksand. It could make the most magical of us throw in the white flag.

After reflection of such day, I realize the magic of my bad days. They teach me to listen, taking my time with the task at hand. The bad days teach me to just breathe through it. I have to breathe anyway, so why not make it big and intentional? With each grand breath (my magic number is fifteen) I begin to raise from the quicksand just enough to see the grace in my day. I pull myself up just to get through dinner, just to get through bath time, just to get through grading and homework, I start see the magic of the day was the consistent duty that drives me. The saving grace of a little person I refuse to let down. By the skin of my teeth I made it! I reflected of how I felt more like a dud, a donkey rather than a unicorn, I realized there was a demand of love, which was received. Not from my child but from me.

I am so grateful to support a little person on their journey. I am most proud on the days when we do exciting things, go fancy places, or receive positive news. But on the days I feel like a donkey, a dud, she still looks at me with excited eyes. She loves me beyond myself. I am so grateful for this journey, and I know I have a magical little person to thank for a lot of my growth.

This is me. I’m a woman creating a life authentic to my journey. I hope you ride along and enjoy my reflection. Please share your ideas, thoughts, well wishes, and similar stories because I know there are amazing women sharing some of my experiences. Thank you for your time.

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